Gone Fishing: The Struggles of Retirement
Hows retirement? It must be good to be able to sleep in each morning.
I envy you.Do you have any travel plans?Hows your golf game?I have heard these comments many times in the last six months, and as I respond, I deal with a flood of feelings and thoughts. It is assumed that I have come to that time of life when I can take it easy, do as I please, and wait until God calls me home to glory. Retirement is perceived by some to be a soft life with no more workplace responsibilities. Life goals are complete. These questions can be interpreted as demeaning, degrading, or even condescending, especially by the person who has had an active life. That person may respond with anger, feeling put down, and with disgust over others lack of understanding. The dictionary doesn’t help by defining retire in this manner: to withdraw from business or public life so as to live at leisure on ones income, savings, or pension.Many of the miss perceptions of retirement are created by people who have reached this stage of life. They may say, Ive been there, done that, and I don’t want to be involved,or Dont ask me to do anythingIve done my time.
They may carry an aura of bitterness at being set aside. Some have held prestigious positions, and suddenly they feel they have lost their identities. What is my worthmy value?It is easier to withdraw. Many become depressed. But the biblical view of retirement is vastly different from these views. Old age is to be a position of honor and respect. With age comes wisdom. Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the Lord(Lev. 19:32). Listen, my sons, to a fathers instruction; pay attention and gain understanding(Prov. 4:1). They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green(Ps.
92:14). Retirement is getting off the freeway and enjoying the country roads. It is a time of growth and change, of refocusing, retooling, and renewal. But above all it is a time of reflection, contemplation, meditation, and prayer.
My first retirement took place in my late 50s after 30 years in the public education arena. I had experienced fulfillment as a school psychologist, an administrator, an adjunct college professor, and a marriage and family therapist. The prospect of a leisurely life flashed its seductive beams my way, but God in his wisdom placed in my pathway opportunities that were more appealing to me. Heeding the Holy Spirits nudges, I seized the daycarpe diem. The next 10 years proved to be the most fulfilling of my life! My very diversified career preparations suddenly came together into a meaningful whole. The old mans dream spoken of by the prophet Joel (2:28) and reinforced by the apostle Peter on the Day of Pentecost (Acts 2:17) came into fruition. Programs became realities, people were blessed, and the power of Gods presence filled me with abundant joy. Yet at every stage of development, life presents its problems. This is especially true with the Christian life. The Scriptures never depict this life as one of ease or as a bed of roses. We are called to participate in the sufferings of Christ in order that we can share in his glory (2 Cor. 1:5; 1 Peter 3:14, 17; 4:1, 12-19). The apostle Paul often wrote of the hardships he suffered as a servant of Jesus Christ, but he also rejoiced in the comfort and blessings he received in abundance. In like manner, the Christian counselor must be cautious about portraying the good life over 60. These years can be the happiest years of a seasoned citizens life, filled with opportunities for inventiveness and creativity. Yet the retirement years can also be fraught with health, emotional, and financial problems.
*The Counselors Role*
The Christian counselor can play a significant role in helping the prospective retiree redefine the term retirement. As life expectancy increases and Baby Boomers age, the number of persons over 65 will increase dramatically. Retirement can be a time of joy, hope, and fulfillment. Granted, there will be financial problems for some, the scourge of depression and loneliness for others, problems brought on by physical disabilities and poor health for still others. Yet the astute counselor can guide a concerned individual into a change of attitude in dealing with these issues.
The role of the Christian counselor is to provide a solid platform upon which to build a strong behavioral structure for the individual who is approaching retirement. Help the client to redefine the words freedom, productivity, and time in terms that are relevant to his or her new lifestyle. Freedom is the greatest gift retirement givesfreedom to follow ones own interests, pursue ones dreams, develop ones talents, and discover new avenues of fulfillment; freedom to do those things one has always wanted to do. But freedom can be abused if used as an escape from purposeful endeavors.
Freedom defined within the spiritual realm can take on new meaning. It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery(Gal. 5:1). Proper use of this newfound freedom can provide the space needed to make new discoveries about ones abilities and talents. Productivity within the world of work provided a means of financial gain, but in retirement, the product of a persons endeavor may bring not monetary reward but the personal satisfaction of achievement in a whole new vista never before explored. The pressure of earning a living is now off, and retired people can start to live freer, more elective lives. Motivation to produce is now a free choice, without the fear of failure or disapproval. Be willing to take a risk.
It may not always be in the persons comfort zone, but it can open up new avenues which lead to aliveness, bringing a new freshness to his or her day. Time takes on a whole new dimension. The eight-hour workday can be decreased or expanded by whatever the task at hand requires. Flexibility becomes the key word in reference to time. Quantity and quality of sleep are very important for the person who is growing older. If an evenings activity extends to late night hours, the flexible schedule allows for sleeping in the next morning. However, it is easy to flounder when time is not anchored to a specific mooring, especially when no parameters are set for the day.
Guidance is needed to help the prospective retiree establish goals, a purpose in life, and a strategic plan for the future. It is good to have something to get up for in the morning. One advantage of retirement is that one can devote more time and energy to the things one considers important. For some, it may be difficult to set long-range goals. Affirm them in establishing short-term retirement goals, perhaps planning no more than a year ahead. A real service is provided to prospective retirees by helping them anticipate the inevitable bumps in the road. A knowledge of the problem areas that may be encountered will help establish coping power to deal with them and perhaps avoid late-life crises. As we grow older, we know that eventually we can expect physical decline and debilitation. But the apostle Paul tells us not to lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all(2 Cor. 4:16-17). When our physical bodies begin to seem more like burdens than blessings, as persons of faith, we have the assurance that the life of Jesus is working within us that God may be glorified. It is easy for elderly people to perseverate on the state of their health. It can become an obsession, the primary topic of conversation. People can become so preoccupied with their health that there is little else about which to talk. And the more they talk, the higher the anxiety level. Joy and contentment are possible even when health is fragile and waning. We do not need perfect health to be productive. There are people of all ages who have learned how to live with disabilities. My mother-in-law was confined to a recliner and wheelchair 24 hours a day. Yet in her 80s, she was still extremely active, conducting Bible studies, editing a newspaper for the nursing home, and ministering to individuals of all ages. It was a joy to be in her presence. As Robert Seymour says in his excellent book, Aging without Apology, It is a good thing to have health, but our obsession with health is unhealthy.
*Emotional Problems in Retirement Years*
Equally debilitating as physical ailments are the emotional problems that occur in later life. Retirement is often considered a period of loss: loss of good health and physical strength; loss of work, income, and prestige; loss of relatives and friends through death. Grief over these losses can dominate every aspect of a persons behavior to a point of complete inertia. The loss of a lifelong mate where attachments have been strong can be devastating. As with all losses, a strong support group of caring individuals who are adept at listening and limited on advice-giving will help alleviate the emotional pain. If this grief is not appropriately dealt with, it may evolve into withdrawal, loneliness, and depression. Loneliness and depression are two of the most frequently encountered emotional problems among the elderly. The active individual who is suddenly thrust into an environment where vital relationships are not present feels the aloneness and the personal lack of significance.
Depression then presents itself in many varieties. An excellent discussion of these varieties can be found in Emotional Problems in Later Life: Intervention Strategies for Professional Caregivers, 2nd edition, by Dan Blazer, M.D., Ph.D., Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences and Dean of Medical Education at Duke University Medical Center. This book is a tremendous resource for dealing with all emotional problems experienced by the elderly. Many seniors also have serious concerns about their financial situation. Will there be sufficient funds to care for my bills?they ask. It is true some have limited old resources, but many, if properly counseled, can live comfortably as long as they are judicious in their spending. Everyone should start early in making wise investments for the later years. Also, long-term insurance is wise in order to avoid depleting savings with costly nursing-home care if it should be required. Many reputable investment firms provide inexpensive seminars and literature that can be very helpful. There is an initial difficult time in retirement of making the transition from a monthly paycheck to retirement funds. Spending must be significantly reduced but, with creative planning, the lifestyle need not change. The Christian counselor has guided many through the stormy waters of a mid-life crisis. Now the opportunity presents itself to assist the aging individual into a new stage of life, a stage that can bring new opportunities for fulfillment and joy. Instead of a period to be dreaded, it can be an adventurous journey to explore new areas of endeavor.
*Stage of Spirituality*
Perhaps this stage of life should be referred to as the Stage of Spirituality.It is a time in which to allow God to do his perfect work in us, molding us more and more into the image of his dear Son. The seasoned senior has the opportunity to grow in the area of the spiritual disciplines, as is so poignantly described in Richard Fosters book, Celebration of Discipline. There is time now to contemplate and meditate on the riches of Gods grace, his majesty and glory. Take help from telephone counselor.
The most important ministry at this time of life is prayer, constantly communicating with the Father on behalf of others. We have been given the responsibility to tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done(Ps. 78:4). New opportunities of this nature are now being developed in many areas. ElderQuest is developing an institute where college students are paired with seasoned seniors for an intergenerational week of dialogue and fellowship. A pilot program will be held on the campus of Palm Beach Atlantic College in the spring of 2000. ElderQuest also provides stimulating programs for older people at various Christian conference centers throughout the country.Online counselor is always available to help you out.
Topics: medical education